“The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?” -Luke 20:4
One of the most heated controversies of Christianity is, and always has been, the subject of baptism. Today, the only denomination I'm aware of that believes water baptism to be unnecessary to individual salvation is, ironically, the Baptists-- though their reasons for believing so are weak at best, as I understand the doctrine. And every denomination judges the baptisms of all other denominations to be akin to a bath in the sewer. Every man adores the smell of his own shit, though the aroma of excrement from all others is decidedly offensive to all. Is a thing unclean to all men everywhere clean in God's eyes? Are we saved by defecation?
One of the problems of baptism, as it’s understood and practiced (even by Baptists), is that it follows the example of John Baptist’s baptism. There is, after all, a baptism which is absolutely necessary, but it's the inward man which needs cleansing. As Peter writes (in 1 Peter 3:21), "baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,)" indicating the heart as the target of baptismal cleansing. John Baptist and his disciples can only wash the outer man. (Now, there are many whores, and they have many Johns who have many restrooms, latrines, outhouses, and slop- buckets. Therefore, in the interest of clarity, John Baptist shall henceforth be referred to as "JB," or "Johnny Boy," or "Johnny B," or "Johnny," etc.) Frankly, Johnny B (not so good to me)-- like a border town shitter-- stinks to high heaven, to me.
The first chapter of Luke recounts in some detail the historical minutia concerning the coinciding conceptions of JB and Jesus, revealing the fact that Johnny Boy's mother Elizabeth and her cousin Mary (Jesus' mother) were-- if not altogether conspiratorial-- at least conversant about the upcoming births of their firstborn sons: dwelling together for a full season (three months) in the last days leading up to the birth of JB (who was born six months before Jesus) at which time Mary departed to her own house. This same chapter of Luke likewise informs us that Zacharias, Johnny's father, was foretold several things about JB before his conception-- by an angel identifying himself as Gabriel.
In Luke 1:15, the angel Gabriel tells Zacharias, "he [JB] shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb." This means Johnny should have known, from conception to death, who the Son of God was, being so full of the Ghost. Jesus said, "Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth [a.k.a. the Holy Ghost], is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you." But Johnny B didn't glorify Jesus. In fact, JB, by his own admission (John 1:31 & 33), didn't know Jesus. Johnny Boybitch died doubting Jesus, as attested to by his last recorded words which he sent to Jesus by the hand of his [JB's] disciples from prison: "Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3)
Yet, JB did identify Jesus, though as the Lamb of God; not as the Son of God. A careful examination of the first chapter of John reveals many things about Johnny B and his doctrine which it may be necessary to review. Now, many believe, because of what's written in Matthew 17:13, that Jesus identified Johnny B as Elias [which is to say, Elijah], but this is inferred by the apostles; not expressly implied or stated by Christ. Is Elijah a false prophet? According to Johnny's own testimony, he would have to be if JB is Elijah. In John 1:21, those in attendance at one of Johnny Boy's baptisms ask him, "Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not." This means Johnny B can't be Elias without Elias being false. In fact, the only witness JB gives of himself in John 1 is found in verse 34, where he says, "this is the Son of God."
Now, Johnny B is as twisted as the patty- pie that drops from the cow's ass, so it's to be expected that his doctrine is likewise convoluted. But truly, if Johnny were a principal player in the kingdom of heaven, who else could he be but the Son of God? John 1 holds the entire record of John's responses to interrogation concerning his principal identity, beginning at verse 19: "And this is the record of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, Who art thou? And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ. And they asked him, What then? Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not. Art thou that prophet? And he answered, No. Then said they unto him, Who art thou? that we may give an answer to them that sent us. What sayest thou of thyself? He said, I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord, as said the prophet Esaias." So the list of principals Johnny ain't is as follows: Christ; Elias; and that prophet (presumably the one referred to by Moses in Deuteronomy 18:15). The only way it could be otherwise is if there are false prophets in the kingdom, which we know is not the case.
As to the former assertion that JB called himself the Son of God: it may seem impossible that the one of whom Jesus said, "But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet," ( Matthew 11:9) could be so traitorous as to say (to paraphrase), "Kill Jesus. I'm the Son of God," but look again. A [false] prophet who thinks to take the kingdom from the king is more than simply a [false] prophet: he's a principal subversive; a devil of a principal order bent on sedition against God and his kingdom. (Which devil he is is not germaine to the subject at hand, nor is the fact that none of his contemporaries tagged him false. False prophets are rarely if ever so identified. "Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets." - Luke 6:26) Otherwise-- by his own admission-- he has to be the Son of God. Remember, Christ said, "by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." (Matthew 12:37)
Could JB, in fact be the Son of God? According to Jesus, the answer is a resounding "no." Christ said of Johnny Bologna, "Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he." ( Matthew 11:11) Let's review: Johnny B was full of the Holy Ghost from the womb, and while in the womb he leapt at the salutation of Mary when she greeted Johnny's pregnant mother. Yet, by his own testimony, he didn't know Jesus after he left the womb, and when he did identify Jesus, he called him the Lamb to be killed: not the Son of Righteousness with healing in his wings.
Could it be that the only time Johnny B was filled with the Holy Ghost was when he was in the womb? Luke 1:41 says of Mary's salutation and the resultant fetal gymnastics, "And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost." Could Johnny Bullshit have been filled with the Ghost through "casual contact," with Elizabeth, as it were (literally from the womb)? Is that what Christ meant when he said Johnny Boy was born of a woman: he "received" the Holy Ghost from his mother, like a thief in the womb? These things seem so to yours truly.
It's even possible Johnny himself didn't know where his baptism came from, after all, though clearly (again, according to his own witness) it came from some source outside of himself whom he didn't esteem worthy of naming. In John 1:33, Johnny Beelzebub says, "I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost." This, in simple terms, means Johnny wasn't full of the Ghost the whole period of time from his showing unto Israel through the headless end of his brainless ministry. He required a sign from heaven to make the identification. "But [Jesus] answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign." (Matthew 12:39) Again, Johnny Bitch's own testimony bears this out. In Matthew 3:14, JB says to Christ, "I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me?" This is a frank admission that, though he was filled with the Ghost, he didn't retain it. That is, after all, the baptism he admitted being in need of.
This then begs the question: with which spirit was Johnny Bupkis committing adultery? 1 John 4:3 answers thusly: "And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world." Remember the words of devilish Johnny B: "Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?" (Matthew 11:3) Remember also, Johnny Bunko knew of the manifold miracles of Christ, and though "John did no miracle:" (John 10:41) he questioned the authority of the Lord he could see.
Also, there's the effect of J Beelzebub's baptism to consider. Why would baptism bedevil the Son of God? Mark 1:12 & 13 says that, when Johnny Baloney "washed" Jesus in baptism, "immediately the Spirit driveth him into the wilderness. And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan... " as if the one who told Johnny to baptize were Satan, and he had this temptation in mind when he told Johnny to baptize. Does Satan require the services of Johnny Beelzebubs to identity God's children; or did he simply seek the baptism his boy Johnny disdained? Either way, it would seem It was Satan's idea that Johnny should baptize with water.
With these things in mind, it seems the smartest answer to the question "The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?” is not the response given by the chief priests and scribes-- "that they could not tell whence it was" [which is to say they believed JB was the Christ (John 7:27)]-- but rather Johnny Boy's pronouncement of Christ: "I knew him not." My response to the query, however, is: Is Satan a man? Or, the spirit of antichrist: is it from heaven? Is Johnny Beelzebub the Son of God?
